half-hearted suicide

i love it here and its not just because of the remarkably hospitable temps and delicious breezes (unusual this time of year ive been told). its also not only due to the resourceful, passionate and clever peeps, the fact that i have a travel buddy for this leg of my journey, or because theres more wifi and internet cafes here than anywhere else ive been thus far.

its hard not to be impressed by the determination that fills the air here, especially when one tries to comprehend the impact of 3 million deaths from a very recent civil war. yet today, with bright new hammer+sickle soviet banners and vietnamese flags still flying side by side, viet nam has emerged as asias 2nd fastest growing economy and is hosting the 2006 apec summit. no big surprise after a few interactions with the local folk. u get the impression that trying to rip you off might just be part of the game. if youre keen to it, theyll chuckle and lower their price (a little). if not, youre a rich tourist who can afford it anyway, so no harm no foul right? i am drawn to the 'by any means necessary' environment, tempered by a genuine friendliness and curiosity about out of towners.

even before i had the privilege to meet its people, saigons streets made a lasting impression: shock and fear! mind u, ive seen nutty road culture- ive witnessed seoul and kl, even driven in san jose (costa rica, not cali) and ballard, but hcmc takes the mooncake. ive seen only half a dozen traffic lights in this city of 6m, and never more than one at even the busiest intersection. why have lights when the only true road rule is opportunity- pinpointing that split second to usher your swarm of mopeds forward into the intersection, thus briefly changing the direction of prevailing traffic until someone else flips the switch. tho mopeds rule, the chaos also includes cyclos, small cars, busses, crazzy bicyclists and women in conical hats balancing impressive loads of produce in baskets connected by a shoulder pole like human weigh scales. somehow it works (quite efficiently, i think) and i never saw blood. theres also something refreshing about drivers who are ever aggressive and alert, none of that 'hang up and drive!' bs you see stateside. not surprisingly, the air is always filled with an unrivaled cacophony of horn honking and choke-inducing exhaust.

amid this insanity, pedestrians also must seek opportunities to cross the street, tho waiting for a 'safe' option will keep you sidelined for days. the safest and quickest way (tho quite counter intuitive), is to simply start your slow-ish amble across the street no matter what, allowing the dozens of mopeds speeding towards you time to negotiate around what is just another obstacle. the first few times it feels like a half-hearted suicide attempt, but in time you start feeling kind of like a ghost or keanu reeves, or... yeah.. whatever.

its no shocker that its amid all this madness that humanity has felt unusually vibrant and hopeful. its hard not to imagine why when all of your senses are constantly greeted by competing morsels, enough to keep the attention of your worst adhd case. i think hcmc/saigon is my favorite place thus far, tho its hard to tell given all of the variables (amounts of sleep, food, seratonin, hormones, etc) that make an objective analysis impossible. but ive never heard someone speak ugly of viet nam and i can tell why- its overwhelming beauty deserves high praise, its undeniable grit should also be appreciated.
more viet nam photos here.

evading a laotian elephant

yes indeed, typhoon xangsane (lao language for elephant) is barreling its way to central viet nam after killing 48 in the philippines and is labeled the strongest typhoon in 10 years. plans to move up the vietnamese coastline are on hold lest i want to participate in asian katrina. stand by.

(technical) new posts on old hijinx

4 hour layovers at hong kongs airport can be fruitful. i just posted a few entries from events prior that had fallen by the wayside. take a gander:

9-sept: city of angels
6-aug: fleeting glimse of an azn homo posse
5-aug: canada loves homos
1-aug: a coastal adventure

onward christian soldiers!

last night featured more vivid dreams and only half-sleep. i awoke early to don skimpy shorts and jogged along the river promenade and was kindly rewarded by a nice head wind on the return journey. i spent most of the day avoiding the heat but purchased a pretty new casio elixim to replace the little slut thats now in someone elses sweaty grasp. i experienced the simple luxury of picking up washed and folded laundry. me and ashleigh headed to the night safari, which started out as a frightful tourist trap and ended an inspiring tram ride through the jungle. personal favorites included the tapir (!), giant ant eaters (which side is which?), and, of course, the asian elephants. the night is still young so i may meet ben at zouk, but marty is draggin a bit. (update: i did indeed meet up with a refreshingly down to earth mr ben, downed a couple chivas shots and tiger beers and then had the taxi drop me at random so i could wander buzzed through the citys empty streets one more time. why does this seem to happen a lot?)

i leave the spore early tomorrow morn excited to drop a few industrial strata but regretful that i didnt stroll through chinatown or the katong hoods peranakan row houses. the pernankans created singapores mixed chinese-malay culture and since the asian civilization museums entire peranakan exhibit was under remodel, i leave without any mud baby highlights. what i will take (sans photographs!) is an appreciation for the island nations attractive urban garden motif, its surprisingly playful public art and advertising, and its peculiar, dogged attempts to control its kind citizens lives.

i have a feeling that a lack of access or interest will keep postings to a minimum as i work my way up the coast of viet nam with kris, the quiet ob gyn from bangkok. its weird to think im just shy of 1/3 done with my holiday. life is hard. hasta luego to all the mamasitas and papananas- arjuna, tainan, sam, ashleigh and ben. im amused that youre all afraid of the states. i promise the violence is mostly random and that gruffness shouldnt be automatically interpreted as meanness. and um... its a big place. get yo visas and tell me your travel plans and i will put you under the auspices of yankee love.

singas so far: lost and found

despite plans to wake up early and jog alongside the singapore river, i awoke flat on my back at 10 in an unusual coffin-like pose. i was in the midst of a long and vivid dream that included three main vignettes: 1) an episode where i talked my way out of a fight with good ole white boy iraq war sympathizers, 2) walking through a grocery store nekkid, and 3) being questioned by the CIA because my mother was under suspicion for child abuse. ive heard armchair dream analysts say that its how one feels about dreamed events, not the events themselves, thats important. id summarize my reactions as follows: 1) i was naive to get myself into the situation but surprised by my adept exit from it, 2) self-conscious that my perusing produce in the buff wasnt horrible, but inconsiderate, and 3) surprised by my mothers fragility and the prospect of her losing everything that shes built from nothing.

a curious start to a curious day. its been a truly remarkable tuesday, that is, worthy of remark, both good and not so perfect. lets start with the unfortunate loss of my pretty camera, as well as misplacing my journal, itinerary and list o local contacts just 12 hours earlier. clearly someone is sleep walking. me thinks the camera was left in a taxi on my way back from the botanic gardens this afternoon. the driver was nice and i gave him a tip, so heres hoping my call to lost and found will be fruitful. not likely. no use getting too upset. i just wish i hadnt lost all those nice pics from penang, taipei and sg thus far. :( i took solace in purchasing a handsome polo, oxford and sweater vest at a j.lindeberg store off orchard rd ;)

so lets concentrate on good stuff- two wonderful dinners in 2 days, the first with beautiful jail bait arjuna and tainan at the maxwell hawkers market (the stingray and satay were sigh-worthy) and omars friend missy (all his friends have been conspicuously female) who treated me to a delightful and entertaining southern indian dinner- highlighted by lime juice and a spicy fish head curry- in singapores little india district, which was all lit up in neon peacocks to celebrate deepavali, or indian new year.

i know i know, stop whining about the heat, but this unsweaty man is marinating in his own juices after anything more than a 15-minute foray into the un-air conditioned elements. all said, i thoroughly enjoyed the vast botanic gardens today, complete with an impressive orchid garden, extensive collection of the diverse ginger family (which includes bananas and turmeric!) and an inspirational lunch at halia. as a precocious 13-yo boy, i started a plant and landscape consulting corp., and the well-planned gardens harkened me back to those early entrepreneurial years and made me long for another greenhouse of my own.

but the true epiphany came while waiting for a portabella and asparagus ciabatta at halia. ive been feeling naughty for not giving more thought to whats next career-wise and had just minutes earlier committed to dedicated time slots for plan making. yet it was in the midst of eating a yummy bitter arugula that the idea congealed. i love those moments when my creative entrepreneurial pistons fire and ideas start to wildly metastasize. its how each of my companies have been borne and i cant wait to piece together the details. its incredibly exciting to think of all that must be done next! stay tuned!

so, all in all, i was in a heady, wonderful space... incredibly grateful to have had this creative moment. perhaps losing my dear camera while still in the euporic fog of discovery was a necessary sacrifice to achieve balance, lest i get hit by a car or contract some horrible water borne illness. just material goods and nostalgic momentos, right?

taipei: a retrospective

i left taipei this morning munching a sizzling fried egg from a plastic bag with chopsticks while listening to taiwanese-american transplant lee hom on my ipod. it was a fitting end to my short few days in formosa. taipei is a cool place and i wish i had some more time and energy to venture outside the city, but i see myself coming back. as the hallyu or korean wave enjoys its last gasp, i cant help but think stylish taipeiers might be the ones to pick up the slack.

speaking of which you should be pleased to hear that rather than taking a pout nap the other day, i ventured next door and got my hair did at the taiwanese equivalent of supercuts. 'krazycuts' was an adventure given the 100% language barrier with my stylist and her lack of talent... what do u expect for us $12? i dont think ive been more stared at in my life. that said she looked phenomenal and her attempts to give my mexican-textured locks the taipei friz were appreciated. once i obsess that my hair is too long, hell nor language barrier will stop me from chopping it off. a similar episode in 12th grade left me bald for 5 years.

sporting my new coif i spent the next few hours cruising taipei on the back of a moped, which was awesome if only a bit scurry. victor took me for yummy dumplings and to the palace museum- an impressive complex of buildings that house the over 400,000 chinese artistic treasures chiang kai shek pilfered from the forbidden city (dont be upset prc. comrade mao would probably have destroyed them as decadent relics of bourgeois excess... plus the renegade province will be reunited with the mainland soon... right!?). heavy on perfect ceramics and gorgeous ancient books, yall chinee should be proud. how someone takes a single piece of ivory and carves eight remarkably intricate balls (each one inside the other, so that each can spin independently) is beyond me. the much-loved jade cabbage and slab o meat made of jasper were refreshingly playful. the exhibit on ch'ing dynasty efforts to record taiwans aboriginal people was also interesting.

i closed out my stay pocket calling sissy back home and then followed up with a real chat while buzzed and waiting for my hosts in houshanpi. minutes earlier i had met lucky at 'funky' to see view very cute taiwanese guys and listen to bad american music. too bad i left before the chinese pop started. when jiao-long + co arrived we headed to the 'follow me' party, which was a huge series of rooms filled with half-nekkid mens on ecstasy, including our friend hk model man. i left around 4 and found myself wandering around in an eerily empty xiamen.

and there i was just a coupla hours later at taipei main station (said in the american + british + australian accented female monotone of the mrts taped announcement, which i love and would enjoy immitating for you) and boarded my airport bus. ill miss taiwan. what i wont miss is this pollution cough thats developed and the spontaneous rash on my back, thanks to toxic detergent and my inability to read chinese washing directions.

so i leave just as ive finally perfected my ni hao! and xie xie!. im on to the nanny state of singapore for another short stint before more ambitious viet nam plans ensue. of course, silly sloppy half-korean kisses to all my tpe homies: jack (for letting me stay at his glam digs in yuanshan), jiao long + mankub (for being my rosetta stones to local homo-ness), lucky, jimmy, cheuk, kenji, chris and victor. keep in touch and come visit.

i shagged a model

asia is just full of surprises! thanks to a mutual parisian cyber pal, me and one of hong kongs finest did what comes naturally after several whiskeys (his: chivas, mine: johnnie walker black) in hip and happenin zhongxiao dunhua. me here on holiday, he to make commercials, ah, how the internet brings people together.

despite my flip tone, its time we pity the gorgeous. physical perfection proves too great a distraction for the common wo/man. we require so little from beautiful people other than their superifical hotness, expecting none of the intelligence, wit, compassion or charisma we demand from the typical joan. of course the tragedy is that these showponies grow up without the prodding necessary to develop their personalities as the rest of us are distracted by their pretty faces. as a result, there seems to be an uncanny correlation between beauty and banality. of course whats most sad is that they are mere mortals who want to be complicated, who desire love and intimacy, and can feel that theyre not getting it. i know many a sad hottie.

i could have broken the cycle. as he stood before me in the buff, both of us admiring the absurd perfection of his creases and bulges, he told me that his agent thinks hes fat. a cry for help! but the only response i could muster was 'such is the biz.' hows that for compassion? but what am i supposed to say? 'how did that make you feel?' 'you have a beautiful soul.' i was drunk, horny and not in the mood for remedial personality classes.

its been curious to get my own bit of attention here. many asians are jonzing for mixed guys (as long as theyre half-white) so being in asia has been flattering. i mean, i dont get to sleep with models back home. tho i grew up being told i was handsome by old ladies, enough doubt was cast by a society where asian american men are seen as penis-less, dog eating, wife beating uglies - in a word: undesirable. as i grew up and came out, i was introduced to the compelling option of being the effeminate boy-servant to an old white man. i dunno, i just didnt go for that.

its fun being pretty here. if i get too lame, i can just head back to the states, where faces like mine are generally invisible, except to the fetishists.

wait, what was my point here? ...oh yeah, i shagged a model.

global and personal instability tour

i woke up yesterday morning to a phone call from sissy in chicago alerting me to a military coup in thailand. the past several days have seen round the clock protests against taiwans president chen shui bian. and just seconds ago there was an onslaught of rapid machine gunfire to my left. whereas the former are real, the latter was just one of my 100 or so taipei teen homies playing wow (world of warcraft) in an internet cafe near the jiantan night market.

trouble is, i spend a good bit of the day looking forward to my time behind the computer screen. when i finally get here and finish my biz in 10 mins, i wonder what the fuss was all about. it turns out that the internet cafe is my guilty pleasure, an oasis of comfort as my virtual connx to the outside world. as little annoying pc pop-up windows ask me various questions in chinese, i just click away, unsure what i have agreed to install or what passwords i have permanently stored here on terminal 9. all said, i still feel guilty staring at an lcd monitor instead of the wealth of cultural experiences on the outside. cmon marty, when u gonna be in taipei again?

i was in a fabulous state of euphoria on my short hop from hkg to tpe on tuesday, and i think it was more than the free internet i found at the hong kong airport. the flight attendant teased me for my silly grin and venti sized chai. we amurricans like things BIG (theres no venti in taipei). im not altogether sure why but that euphoria has waned since and i woke up with my corners feeling a little dulled and my spirits low. it doesnt feel like travel malaise per se, i suspect that im just a little low on seratonin. the trip up to the danshui river this morning offered a nice respite from city life, tho what did i do immediately after disembarking the train? headed to starbucks (embarrassing sanctuary #2).

lest i seem like a flagellater (no, not 'flatulator'), ideally, i think travel should include the mundane along with the exotic. theres nothing wrong with seeking a morsel of familiarity while being inundated by foreignness, lest we totally lose our identities. i just dont like feeling lazy, unappreciative of the opportunities around me, or finding more evidence that i value comfort over substance. all in all it is the slippery slope to complacency, superficiality and auto pilot (aka ordinary-ness) that i want to avoid. on that note, im going home to take a nap.

selamat tinggal malaysia!

oh the moment has nearly arrived when i will bid ole malaya farewell. after a night spent in nearby taiping at my newest 'yesterday we were strangers today we are bff' homie justins house, we headed into historic palau pinang for a busy day.

(i guess penang with an 'e' is the ole spelling, 'i' is the new. ill alternate to show deference to the past while trying my damndest not to seem obsolete) i had heard that pinang is a foodies paradise and i must say i had only phenomenal meals today. oh lawd the laksa assam for lunch was yummy... a special pinang fish n noodle soup seasoned with something vaguely cilantro-y and made a bit sour with tamarind. on the tourist front, we started at the huge kek lok si buddhist temple and kuan yin teng statue, a haphazardly arranged complex with perky gold tile roofs and what i imagine to be millions of effigies of the big man adorning its walls and halls. there was also a huge bronze statue of yuan lin, the goddess of mercy as well as the ladyfriend air travelers pay homage to. there was considerable construction on the site, including several new buildings and the re-tiling of old ones. it was interesting to understand the complex as a constantly evolving work in progress rather than just as a maintained ancient wonder.

next we took a very slow 30-min tram up the side of penang hill to see... well, im not sure. but at least it was delightfully cool respite from what was a truly oppressive 'theres always the threat of a dam break of sweat above my brow' kind of heat. no, really, i want you to think about bearing for hours a heavy and thick layer of liquid that clogs each pore and fuses your clothing to your body. now think about entering hyper air conditioned spaces which freeze-dry your body soup until youre outside again minutes later and its simmering yet again. as anyone with a food handlers permit will tell ya, hot, cold, hot, cold = bacteria.

back to the program. other highlights included the whimsical butterfly garden (where i learned that scientists estimate the world has 6 million species of insect with only 1.5 discovered thus far... eww), a quick putz around the pricey (read: expat hangout) batu ferringhi neighborhood, and we ended the day with fabulous indian food and a wander through georgetowns charming streets- oldskool colonial buildings with new school chinese and indian signage. kinda wish i had another half day for urban cruising. cruising of another sort was on the minds of some tranny hookers near my hotel, who hissed at me while cat calling 'papi' on my way back from the 7-11. wait, where am i?

anyhow, i cant remember why i chose to start my trip here... but so glad i did. i leave malaysia a big fan. lets hope the fragile peace between all yall malay muslims, buddhist/christian chinese and hindu indians is maintained. i think a compare and contrast between usa-style affirmative action and malaysia for malays bumiputra would be interesting. anyhow, a huge heartfelt terima kasih to all of the beautiful hosts and folks ive met here- faisal, junn, omar, jaime, shaan, andrew, mark and vincent- (screw all you bougie study abroad freaks... ive got my own international homies now!) ;) ok, one nation-state down, nine more to go.

(technical) fotos up

fer yer viewing playzoore, i uploaded fotos for the past few posts on nyc and malaysia. la will be up soon. sorry, but lighting, cropping, etc. is poor due to lack o retouching software.

last tango in the muddy confluence

kl was named in the mid-nineteenth century by tin prospectors who landed where the klang and gombak rivers met. the name 'kuala lumpur' means 'muddy confluence.' indeed, from the air one can see that all of malaysias rivers run a muddy ruddy brown. this info was provided to me thanks to dear dashing omar, who was proud to rehash some local lore. too bad lonely planet did it first. the gentlemanly thing to do would have been to nod and say 'oh really?' but i was eager to show my displeasure since he was complicit in an unplanned 2 hr walkabout earlier in the evening.

doing laundry and repacking have quickly become familiar rituals. thankfully my bag isnt overpacked, so i can be a bit lax with organizing my inventory. waking at 3:30 am this am to fly out to penang didnt sound so hot, so in an hour or so ill make my way to what ive heard is a confusing and stifling bus station to find a 4-hour coach ride. im there until monday when i depart malaysia altogether for taipei. ill miss kls unpretentious ambition.

my final full day in kl was spent mostly in recoup mode, headache and sniffles my punishment for friday nights debauchery. saturday evening was less obscene (for the most part), giving me the opportunity to sit back and watch other homo asians amuse and perform at kls premier gay venue, liquid. this innocent fun was followed by heady reminders of the comfort of being in darkness with someone intriguing, frenetic thoughts funneled into clumsy words, and feeling nearly overwhelmed with uncertainty. its enough to drive one batty, but with a couple hours perspective its just more evidence that im alive, i guess.

jesus: alive, well and asian

the generosity of the people ive met thus far is alarming. what i am experiencing on a daily basis isnt the somewhat insincere good manners hospitality of most folks back home... its this overwhelming, no second thought, 'jesus christ is alive, well and asian' kind of way. its the 'leave the party early cuz im a drunk lush, hold me while im puking oodles inside a taxi, once home bathe said disaster off of me, wash my clothes, tuck me into bed, and while im sleep sleeping away, be on all fours picking up the hundreds of napkin pieces off the laundry room floor cause i thought keeping tissues in my back pocket was clever' kind of way. (for illustrative purposes only.)

in my experiences here, these constant acts of generosity are not excuses for resentment, naughty favors, nor reproach. these demonstrations are not loaded nor overly complicated. they feel like a way of life. my typical means of showing appreciation was honed in response to typical acts of kindness. consequently my responses dont adequately acknowledge the magnanimity of their gestures. i guess my main confusion stems from the fact that these are strangers bestowing the care and love that i expect to give and receive only from good friends. i leave these interactions feeling humbled, if not also a bit humiliated, because all this still feels foreign.

down in da bharu

none of my new malaysian buddies understands why im here in this little city in ne kelantan, the poorest and most conservative state in peninsular malaysia. each mention of coming here elicited a polite 'why?' signs proclaiming 'kota bharu bandar raya islam' (kota bharu: the islamic city) areeverywhere, and inded there is far more arabic and much less english singage here. im self conscious about wearing shorts despite the stifling heat and humidity, tho the chinese community seems ok with baring a lil leg flesh and im chinee so i guess its ok.

honestly i cant say why im here either. perhaps another one of those strange lonely planet moments. waking up at 4:30 to get the taxi to catch the bus to take the plane wasnt awesome, but having accepted the fairly alarming condition of my hostel room and still giddy about 1.60 ringgit (40 cents) for an hour of moderately high speed internet, im glad i came... tho probably wont be back har har. all said, a few highlights thus far:

(1) oh so refreshing breezes pushing off the muddy orange sungai kelantan (kelantan river)

(2) watching a huge kelly green mantis doing a jerky walk on pieces of snapping charcoal.

(3) my tongue finding tiny reservoirs of sweet salt hidden in my so yummy nasi goreng.

(4) buying me a can of 'kickapoo joy juice' from a lady in an off-the-road shanty. (i promise i will also use 'shanty' to describe abodes back home too.)

(5) having a good size chunk of my neck scalded in my excited discovery of warm water.

ok, im ready to get back to KL.

day 1

(what begins is a cliche travelog of my emancipasian 2006 tour whose meandering and oft updated entries will make my weblog even less cohesive and consistent than usual. fotos to come when cyber cafes permit. onward!)

because thats how koreans do it, joon carted my ass to lax instead of letting me take the metro train that was just 10 feet from his loft. i had butterflies as we approached the terminal, which made me think about how i seem to always like such reminders that i am living, breathing and feeling.

i arrived at the airport count em 6 hours early to minimize my chance of being stuck between two fatties in a non-reclining seat on a 14-hour flight. victory was mine. strangely enough, neither the airport stay nor the flight itself seemed particularly long. its funny that my oft remarks on the sheer absurdity of a 14-hr flight made the real thing a piece of cake.

now that im in kuala lumpur, all of a sudden this solo traveling gig (punctuated by arranged rendezvous with heretofore strangers) seems perfect. i was never particualrly apprehensive about traveling alone, more mindful that bouts of lonliness were inevitable. but this feels right.

kl's airport was shiny and efficient. the ekspres train took me to kl sentral in just 28 mins. as i walked around town, i saw about an equal proportion of muslim malay women in colorful hijab, chinese and indians. according to faisal, my warm and kind host for two nights, the govt has done a decent job of keeping intra-ethnic strife to a minimum.

i love those american moments... similar to korean bathrooms, faisal's shower head just comes out of the wall and water sprays on the toilet, floor, sink and everything else. i sat there for a good minute or so running my hand under the stream waiting for it to get warm. ummm no. i dont know why id want a warm shower in this sticky 'humidity so thick u can eat it' heat anyway.

i did a quick walkabout in town, taking random turns here and there along not-quite pedestrian friendly streets clogged with cars and mopeds, using the collosal glittering petronas towers as my point of reference. outside the twin monoliths is a water fountain and pool where lovebirds gather at dusk while the muslim call to prayer echoes behind them.

faisal and his wife jun meet me there and we head to KLs kampung, a sizeable area of the city where people living in more traditional stilted wood homes on narrow dirt streets resisted selling off their parcels for urban sprawl. we pick and choose tasty foods, including an especially spicy eggplant number and some very yummy curry fish sauce over rice. i eye my glass of water suspiciously. tummy was puzzled, shifted back and forth a bit, but is still in tact. strangely enough tho we all ate the same thing, i was the only one who didnt get sick. thanks, childhood kimchi.

diarrhea: when not if

the moment has arrived. i depart in mere hours, bowels still intact, still totally oblivious to the reality that it will be nearly 3 months before im back in gods country. its amazing what young people will do in these here disillusioned times to wake ourselves up from the lethargic slumber of privilege. perhaps we should reinstate the draft.

i also love the fact that i almost missed my flight here from nyc and made it (after chucking all of my liquids and gels since i was too late to check any luggage) and just realized 15 minutes ago that my flight to hong kong leaves late this evening, NOT tomorrow afternoon. ah, military time! (another reason to reinstate the draft) i hope that this latest ditzy moment will be the kick in the pants i need to WAKE UP and avoid future missed flights, muggings, bacterial infections and the like.

i hope that some of you will place friendly wagers on how many hours before my first loose stool. malaysia is known for its fine cuisine and i aint holdin back. place your wagers, fill the kitty, and wait for trouble in the poop chute!

city of angels

la gets a lot of shiz for being dirty and fake (cuz it is), but the place grows on me each time i visit. one cant help but admire the quintessential socal beach, the beautiful but vacant people... ah the absurdity of it all.

cathays 'all asia pass' allows me to depart from sf, la or nyc, and in the interests of participating in a koko kamp reunion, i chose here. it has been a coupla months since we indulged in our korean power week so it was delightful to be back in the company of my fellow counselors. joon picked me up at lax and we hustled over to k-town for some delicious samgyupsal, soondoobu and the like. after closing the place down we moved on to order ice cream sundaes of such magnitude to cause anyone without a korean metabolism to gasp and clutch at their seizing heart. gawd i love me some k-town kokos and kuisine. without fail i always get a lil funny tummy when im with my people, a subtle discomfort reminding me that im still an outsider, but its a feeling i embrace and i think they like it too.

day 2 i had the pleasure of sunday brunch at the abbey, a west hollywood institution. spicy bloody marys and a delicious soft scramble which didnt skimp on the avocados were accompanied by an extraordinary host, john, a half-chinese transplant from north seattle who is doing la quite well, thank u much. brunch was followed by a lil walk thru weho, was followed by a hot pair of new diesel jeans (paid in great part by his store credit... im speechless), was followed by a ride out to the santa monica pier made more enjoyable by a power sized jamba juice smoothie. in retrospect, with these kinds of hosts, no wonder why i like ciudad de los angeles.

by nature im awfully suspicious so i kept wondering why i was the recipient of such audacious generosity. i sought out sinister motives but came up pitifully empty. i guess some guys are just nice, no?

lulu, cindybro, chucky and julia stiles

nyc: chapter 2 closed out in familiarly wacko fashion with a visit to chuckies new 7 story walk up apt in the heart of chinatown (he should measure his ass and thighs for before and after comparison), dumplings in chinatown (i was the only member of our 4sum w/o fractional chinee heritage), seeing ms. julia stiles in her directing debut in said chinertown, and realizing that our idea of going to an 'underwear (ie sex) party' wasnt so hot. sure, three asian homos heading into bklyn together was appealing in an absurd, voyeuristic and perverted online porn concept way, but once there the tiny place smelled like ass and we left soon after. plus, louie got mad at me. i much preferred the pretty mexican bartender earlier in the eve who thought i was her people. if i had a dollar...

5 years on

i made my way down to ground zero today with 9/11s five year mark on everyones mind. im not a crybaby, so i was surprised at how emotional i was reading the timeline and viewing photos of the days events surrounding the new path station.

a quick study of the small crowd suggested mostly international folks and i was the lone wailer. i was simultaneously buoyed by their presence while feeling some nationalistic anger that they didnt seem equally moved. earlier in the day i picked up a copy of the onion, which satirized the lack of much progress on the site, thanks to bureaucracy and greed. some latino guys were hawking cheesy remembrance pamplets to onlookers.

both paper products seemed kinda blasphemous, but this being nyc, it was also strangely perfect. a guest on wnyc today talked about how everyone wants to own a piece of 9/11. most americans cant find the usa on a world map, but every one of us saw images of the collapsing towers. as the defining moment of a generation, 9/11 integrated itself into each of our identities, and i think that owning a bit of the tragedy makes us feel included and understood.

luckiest man on earth

yesterday, a light but surprisingly soaking rain fell on me as i walked from the 68th street/hunter college 6 line to meet lulu at presbyterian hospital. he gave me the keys to his apt and i donned a white plastic poncho and made my way up to 302 88th, which garnered bemused looks from young puerto men of a similar age.

this morning, far away from the center of any activity and with my distate for paying for public transportation in tact, i made my way downtown on foot, walking over 100 new york city blocks in preparation for much more walking to come over the next three months. it felt good to be in 'the city' on a cool partly sunny day. and to my great fortune, a bird crapped on my shoulder shortly after my departure. i was told this is an extremely lucky sign. i feel fortunate.

last time i was here i saw protests, art openings, rowdy grammar school kids and a tranny doll auction. this time im waking up late and walking around picking up the last few things on my to-do list. its been nice. my homies at made in brazil recorded this clip while he was in france, citing it as proof of 'when you are traveling abroad, there comes a time when you sort of snap for a while.' i cant wait to find out what makes me snap. i had a very strong affection for these four horny old ladies as a lil boy. i remember being very excited to tell my piano teacher (who did not own a tv) that channel 11 now had gg reruns every morning at 10 am. she looked at me quizzically. now i cant stand the show. the storylines and conflict archs are unbearably formulaic one can predict its course just seconds into the show... or maybe ive seen each episode cinq fois?

bye bye chi

after a nutty night trying to dismantle my todo checklist im just hours from saying bye to chicago... for a time at least. i leave with unexpectedly rave reviews for americas second city, having enjoyed very pleasant weather and family life for a brief few weeks. onward to nyc and la before the mudderlund.

friends: real and imagined

its getting late on my departure eve eve, but ive got a few cups of ovaltine and earl grey tea pumpin ma veins with caffeination hateration. after a few melancholy days cycling through the many emotions my voyage will inevitably incite, im antsy to get going.

since none of my 'real' friends elected to join me on my asia power excursion (the 'i have a job' excuse got played out), i discovered jason, my sexy asian cyber friend who will share with me this once in a lifetime experience. traveling 90 days with anyone is a gamble- theres something about being without many of the conveniences of home that makes trekking exhausting. but from the little that weve talked, i learned that jay (i like nicknames) always insists on paying the bill, spontaneously disappears during those tense 'need to be alone' moments, and has intestines of steel.

now, on the off chance that i tire of my make believe mens, come back for profiles of the fine asian men i encounter. sure, traveling solo is kinda romantic, but i dont want to merely trace the well-worn paths of the guidebookers. id much rather find a handsome local to help configure an authentic indigenous experience. in fact, over the next 3 months, i will institute a new policy: i shall only travel with heretofore strangers! take that u employed amigos! and consider how your bygone conventions make me look undesirable to my not-yet friends!

final dayz wit da panda bear

ive taken to calling my lil niece 'zztcp' or long-hand: zing zing the chinese panda. undoubtedly one of the greatest opportunities of the past several weeks in chicago was spending time with her. highlights include jamming with her to mandarin ballads, her obsession with english springer spaniels, her referring to me simply as 'sssssss' (a shortened version of the korean word for uncle), and witnessing one lil human beings incredible capacity to absorb and make sense of everthing around her. uncle pants is gonna miss ya sweet cheeks!