already missing asia long time

my flight landed in seattle a few hours ago to summerlike sunshine and yummy clean blue skies. yet it doesnt feel especially good to be home. perhaps its the hormones having trouble settling in the wake of all this post-travel nuttiness (or the whisky), but i miss asia somethin terrible. of course rejecting seattle at its best confirms what ive known for many months: its time to go.

despite the breathtaking natural beauty and knowing this will always be home, i need more than seatown right now. im arriving home after 2 wks abroad and i dont want to even turn on my phone. while walking up pike st, im grossed out by the emerald citys immaturity and reminded how emasculated asian american men are. sitting here i keep glancing at passers by and i dont like what i see. home feels lonesome.

seoul and tokyo were more different from each other than i expected. seoul still feels like the scrappy older brother with the bigger heart but less polished exterior. but it felt like the sheer absurdity of each megapolis humbled its denizens to consider their collective narrative instead of just their individual ones. with so much room to roam, seattleites easily walk without constantly colliding with each other. personal space left intact, theres this palpable self-absorption that maybe is just american, or not asian... i dunno. its time to make some concrete relocation plans beyond moving to chicago next month. time to nail down what i want and why.

some overweight frat dude (no, its not all muscle) just passed wearing a towel around his waist and flip flops at 20:00.